Swallow on the Wing Part Five Later in the chamber he shared with Catherine, Vincent and Beth settled down to some serious talking. Beth told him, “I don’t want to cause you any stress Vincent. This may be hard for you, but I do believe that you need this. Tell me has no-one ever allowed you to tell about how you really feel before?” “Sometimes, when we were young, Devin would ask. But Father severely punished him if ever he overheard anything.” “How did it make you feel, being able to talk about it?” “Good. Relieved to know that someone wanted to hear about the real me.” Beth nodded, “Do you still consider it that way?” “How do you mean?” “You spoke of the other side of your nature being the real you. Which way do you have a leaning to, human or non human?” Vincent pondered her question, “I like to think I am human, especially since Catherine came into my life.” “But if you had not been found and brought here, and had not met Catherine, how do you think you would have leaned then?” “It is something I have often asked myself.” “And...?” “I don’t want to even think about it.” “Then you have a leaning towards the lion do you not?” Vincent gasped, and without thinking his lip curled back and vibrated with sound. Beth’s eyes opened wide. “On the defensive aren’t we, did that remark hurt?” Vincent was mortified, “I’m sorry,” he stood up towering above her, and told her she should leave, his voice shuddered with the beginnings of a roar, and Beth smiled, “Sit down Vincent, I’m not going any where. Do you think I’m afraid of you?” She laughed, “Vincent, let me show you something.” Pulling up her jersey to her bare midriff, she exposed a huge scar that ran its length around her body, “Devin isn’t the only one with scars from claws, unfortunately for me, I also remember the jaws and the teeth around my body.” She lowered her jersey again, watching as Vincent slowly sat back down. And saw him shudder. “I don’t wish to antagonise you honey,” Beth told him, letting the endearment slip of her tongue as a way to pacify him. It worked, Vincent felt a huge wave of peace wash over him, and waited for her next remark, his blue eyes bright and eager. “You are quite something you know that?” Beth told him, “But you don’t have to show menace with me Vincent, I’m not your enemy, just because I speak frankly. You have got to learn to lighten up a little, let yourself go.” “If I let myself go, I’d kill you.” Vincent told her his voice trembling. “Really. Do you want to kill me, are you hungry?” Vincent drew his brows together. “No, I’m not hungry.” “Then why should you wish to kill. Do you enjoy killing?” “No!” “Then you would not kill me, only maybe if you were hungry.” Vincent stared at her, and Beth went on, “Vincent, lions only kill to eat, okay some kill for killings sake, but very few, and then usually only if something has upset them. Do I upset you Vincent?” “Yes.” Beth laughed, her voice shaking just slightly, and Vincent’s eyes shone with a sudden malice. “My” Beth told him, “You do need help.” Beth hesitated, she knew he needed calming, and suddenly she wondered if she was out of her depth. How well did she know him anyway? Vincent’s eyes, now mere slits continued to watch her every movement, and he seemed to have altered, so Beth suddenly asked him, “Tell me about this Bond that you share with Catherine, is it only applicable to her, or has it worked with others?” Vincent relaxed at once, and Beth saw her trump card. Mention of Catherine tamed the beast. Regaining his composure, Vincent’s eyes softened, becoming remarkably blue and intense again, “Only with Catherine has it ever existed.” “That’s interesting. In the wild Vincent, the male lion has several lionesses at his disposal. Do you ever feel the need to love others as well as Catherine?” careful Beth she told herself, as his eyes glazed over again with fury. “No!” Vincent rose and roared out the word, and Beth rose with him, challenging him her eyes never leaving his. Together their eyes locked, and Vincent felt a fury rising within him like a tidal wave, and he felt his hands clench and unclench, his teeth chatter, and his nostrils flare. His breathing grew rapid, as he continued to stare at her, his eyes fixed with hers, blue fire against blue fire. Beth knew what she was on with. One never backed down at this stage, one held their own, challenged the other, waited, watched, showed no fear. One of them would win, and the other would lose, but it would not end in bloodshed. One of them would turn away, thus showing they did not want to fight, and the other would be the victor without so much as raising a claw. Suddenly Vincent looked away, turned and walked away from her. Beth felt a ripple of excitement run through her, she had tamed the beast, and so easily too. Vincent swung around to face her, saw her smile, and flopped himself down into the nearest chair in sudden weakness. “What did you just do?” he whispered, “I feel reborn.” he was amazed, he had never felt more human than he did at that moment. Beth sat down again, “You really don’t know?” “No.” Vincent shook his head, “It was almost as if I wasn’t here. What happened?” “That’s amazing. You don’t remember?” “Well yes I remember, but its like it wasn’t me, as if I was standing back watching someone else. You were very brave.” “I am amazed how easily the lion came through. It took such little effort on your part. Is he always so near the surface?” “Yes. But I don’t feel as though he is right now, and that’s most unusual. Usually it takes constant effort just to keep him down, he is always just near the surface.” “He hasn’t gone Vincent, but he didn’t want to fight with me. A lot of people could help you with him, if they knew how. I almost wish the others could have seen that, to know what to do.” “You challenged him didn’t you?” “Yes, and I won. You can rest assured Vincent that no matter what threats your mouth may utter, you will not harm me ever, not now. Now I rule over you.” Vincent shuddered, feeling something he couldn’t fathom, almost silly. Beth continued, “This lion side of you Vincent, it’s on the defensive because it is so little understood. It seeks freedom because it is a part of you, forever suppressed, and it needs expressing. If you were to only accept that, and allow it freedom along with the human side, you would find yourself gaining much more peace within your soul, and find that the lion would not jump up ready to attack at the slightest provocation. I still can’t believe how easily he came up, he takes offence far too easily. And I fear that your human side uses him as a defence mechanism, more than you care to admit.” “Sometimes,” Vincent told her, whispering low, “I fear that I will hurt Catherine.” “Do you still feel that you will hurt me?” Vincent shook his head, “No. Not you, but I love Catherine, why should I want to hurt her.” “I don’t think its hurt that you want to cause her, Vincent. I think its dominance. I take it Catherine has never challenged you?” “As you have just done, no. Catherine has been made to believe not to summon the beast.” “Then I must alter that. I’ll show her what to do.” “I don’t think I would want to take the risk.” “But you must. What would Catherine do, if you tried to strike her?” “I don’t even want to think about it.” Beth nodded, “Obviously you love her very much, I don’t think you would hurt her, and the fact that you reacted very badly to the suggestion that you might desire others as well as Catherine, shows that here the human element over-rides, bringing fidelity into it. A lion would definitely seek more than one mate, no matter what, and love would never come up.” Beth sighed, “Vincent, I think we have covered enough for today, do you agree. But there are some things I’d like you to do, for a few days for I’m certain you haven’t already.” “And that is.” Vincent regarded her with some trepidation. “Just read Vincent, nothing more strenuous than that. I take it you do read?” “Oh yes, I love to read.” “Then I shall ask Catherine to get some important books for you.” “How important?” “First I want you to read Born Free, and then I shall hope you will read all the books about lions that you can lay your hands on, until we speak again. You need to know about your other self honey, and you need to move backwards before you can move forwards.” Vincent shook his head, not with denial, but with gratitude, “Thank you Beth.” he told her, “In all my life, apart from a few words with Devin, no one has taken such an interest in how I feel, or dared to know. I have enjoyed this chat, even though it could have been a disaster, you are one remarkable woman.” “It’s been a pleasure Vincent, we can help each other huh? Vincent you were created for a reason, and I feel honoured to be given insight like this. It’s almost as if the lion has been given voice, and I can learn so much from you that will help me when I return to Mombassa. I wish you could come back with me, now that would be interesting to see.” Vincent laughed, “I am more than happy here, just as long as I have Catherine, and our children. Once I dreamed of seeing the world. Now it doesn’t seem so important.” Beth nodded, “Well then I’ll get you those books, and we’ll resume this in a couple of days. Thank you Vincent, it’s been...educational.” “Yes,” Vincent told her, “It has.” *** *** *** The following day Beth was almost reluctant when Catherine suggested they go to see the police taking with them her recent photograph of Devin. Not that she didn’t want Devin found yet, of course she did, but Vincent was such an interest to her, and she found it almost impossible to tear herself away. Catherine laughed at her, “I know how you feel Beth, but for entirely different reasons.” They walked along through the city streets, deep in conversation, and Beth ventured to ask, “When you and Vincent make love does any of his bestial side come through?” Catherine stopped dead, turned and faced Beth, a smile began to tease her lips, and her eyes shone with humour, “Beth.” she laughed, “I’ve never met anyone quite like you before. You certainly aren’t backwards at coming forwards are you?” Beth laughed, “Well,” she told Catherine, “Are you going to answer the question or not?” “I don’t know if I should tell you anything at all, is this more to do with your research, or mild curiosity?” “A bit of both I suppose.” Catherine pondered the question, finally answering, “There are times when Vincent is so very content that he purrs, and when he is in a rage he roars.” “Really! now that is interesting. And does he ever bite your neck and hold on to it, when he is about to orgasm.” Catherine stared wide-eyed at Beth, “I am not answering that!” Her eyes darted all around, hoping no one had overheard. “It’s a simple enough question Catherine.” “Maybe, but not in the middle of the street Beth.” “So you’d tell me if we went to your apartment?” “Perhaps.” Catherine could not believe she was even having this conversation. “What exactly are you trying to establish here?” “I want to know what makes Vincent tick, and I’d like to see you challenge the beast.” “Vincent told me about that.” “He did? I didn’t expect that he would.” “Well he did, in fact he was coming out with the most craziest of things all night long.” Catherine told her, “Whatever did you do to him?” Beth laughed, “Was it for the better or the worse?” Catherine didn’t need long to answer, “He was remarkably different, kinder somehow, if that’s possible, more sure of himself, less reserved. The Vincent I know always seems to be a taut bow, but last evening he seemed more relaxed, and in control without having to make the effort.” Beth nodded, “Then that’s good isn’t it?” “Yes.” They reached the police department, and climbed the steps, Catherine warned, “No funny questions in here, they’ll lock us up.” to which Beth told her, “As if I would.” Having placed the missing person’s report, the pair of them walked back along the boulevard, towards the nearest bookshop. Beth had already explained which books she wanted Vincent to read and why. “Its years since I read Born Free.” Catherine told her, “Why do you think it is a good book for Vincent to read?” “Basically because it’s one of the few that show the remarkable bond between humans and lions. Such a relationship shouldn’t be antagonistic Catherine. One should not be at constant war with the other. I am hoping Vincent will be able to establish that having both within, he should be at peace with himself, not having to play one against the other. He also needs, as a man, to challenge the lion, much the same as I did yesterday, because in the wild one male lion is a leader and the other is a follower, and when humans are involved, the lion just sees them as another lion. Once Vincent has over-ruled his bestial side, and won, he won’t have such a fight against himself in future. As it is I believe right now, no matter what any of you have established, the lion definitely has the upper hand.” “No I don’t think so, you don’t know Vincent as I do.” Catherine told her. “Maybe not, but I know lions Catherine, and I tell you this side of Vincent is very much the dominant one. And he easily takes offence. That’s not a bad thing, but he is a badly brought up lion, knows no manners, and needs to be taught discipline, I’m afraid as much as Father believed he was doing right, by suppressing the beast, he has done lasting damage. Its going to take a great deal of courage on your part to tame the beast Catherine and you mustn’t prevent Vincent from speaking of it. That’s the worst part really for him, being around people who believe they know what’s best for him, and him never being allowed to express his true self. He can’t help what he is Catherine, and someone needs to allow him to be what he needs to be from time to time.” “Often Vincent tells me that the beast could kill me, it’s a fear he lives with constantly.” “And so he could. How do you answer when Vincent tells you this?” “I tell him that he would never hurt me.” Beth nodded, “You see even you who loves him, denies what he is. Catherine when Vincent tells you these things, it is a cry for help, for understanding. Instead of denying what he tells you, you should listen to him, let him talk about how he feels, why he feels that way. In fact I would say that such a statement is in effect on the path of a challenge, rather than speaking to him, you should stand your ground and challenge him, let him see you have no fear. Let actions speak louder than words. Words knock him down, make him frustrated because no one understands how he feels. And words belong to the human element. How he must despair at not being able to make even you understand his own make-up.” “I’ve never even looked at it like that before. Whenever he goes along that pathway, I try desperately to reach out and bring back the gentle Vincent. It always works.” “Yes but at what price Catherine. Again the beast is knocked back, left to try again another day. It can’t go on Catherine, one day that beast is going to gain such control, that no one, not even you will be able to stop him. Its really only a question of time believe me.” Catherine shuddered, she already had experience of that, and she’d hate to have it happen again. Vincent had almost died the last time. They purchased the books that Beth recommended, and exited the store, it was lunchtime, and Catherine suggested they stop off at a diner for something to eat, telling Beth she knew just the right place. “Have you lived around New York all your life?” Beth asked. “Most of it. My father had his business here, and then I went to work for him for a while, before I ventured out on my own, and oh!” “What is it?” “There’s Joe, my ex-boss, come on, let’s go over and thank him for backing me up with the airport official in Mombassa.” As they approached, Joe looked up, his face wreathed in smiles when he saw Catherine, “Cathy!” he cried, then a boyish smile lit his eyes as he told her, “And what the hell were you doing, you old fraud, in Mombassa?” “Thanks Joe,” Catherine told him warmly, “I owe you one.” “Who’s your friend?” Joe nodded in Beth’s direction. “Joe meet Beth, my sister-in-law.” Catherine’s face lit up at the sight of Joe’s expression. “Your sister-in-law. Well this is a privilege. I’ve yet to meet any of Catherine’s family. So Beth are you Vincent’s sister or what?” “You’ve never met Vincent?” Beth queried. “Who has?” Joe laughed and Beth catching sight of Catherine’s face, laughed along with him. “Well I have,” she told him, “But no, he’s not my brother. I’m married to Vincent’s brother.” “Vincent has a brother, and does he live in this commune thing too?” Joe winked at Catherine, he’d never believed that story . “No, Devin and I live in Mombassa, we’re just visiting.” “So the help you needed was for Beth?” Joe turned to ask Catherine, who smiled as she told him, “Yes Joe, but I’m afraid I can’t tell you what it was for. You will just have to trust me.” “Huh” he told her, “And how many times have I heard that one?” Joe looked at his watch, “Well Cathy, I hate to love you and leave you, but I’ve gotta go, got someone to see, you know how it is?” he made to rise, pushing back his seat, “Nice to have met you Beth, say hello to Vincent for me will you? Tell him it would be nice to meet him someday. I don’t believe Catherine has any intention of ever letting me meet the guy. For reasons best known to herself of course.” He winked at Catherine, and she laughed. “I’ll tell him Joe, and it was nice to meet you too. Thanks also for covering up for Catherine when we were in Mombassa.” “That’s okay, I’m getting used to thinking of Cathy as a fraud these days, never know what to expect next, but I know she only does it to help people. Say talking of frauds Cathy, you never guess who I saw just yesterday?” “No, but I have a feeling you are going to tell me Joe.” Catherine laughed at him. “Jeff Radler. You remember him, it was thanks to your suspicious mind that we found him out...hey what’s wrong...you okay Cathy?” Catherine regained her composure through the density of a fog, and stuttered, “Where... Joe? Where did you see him?” “Why?” “Joe tell me!” Catherine shook Joe’s arm, “Think, where was it?” “Hey what’s with the third degree Cathy? I don’t know, he was walking along the street right outside of here, came right up to me, but didn’t know me. Surely I haven’t altered that much in ten years?” Beth’s eyes had widened with surprise at Catherine’s behaviour, her heart raced, something told her to be silent, until she heard Joe say, “I knew it was him though, he had those three scores on his cheek, you know...” “You saw him!” Beth understood at once, “And what did you say his name was?” “Its all right Beth, I’ll handle this.” Catherine was telling her, trying to stop her from speaking, as Joe was saying “Jeff Radler, he used to work with Cathy and I, temporarily that is. He was a fraud. A good fraud mind. He secured the Mansfield case.” “Joe sit down will you.” Catherine told him, tugging at his sleeve. Joe checked his watch, “I can’t Cathy, I have to go.” “Just a few seconds please?” Catherine’s green eyes begged him. Joe felt his heart constrict and melt, “Okay Radcliffe you have two minutes.” “Joe I don’t want to have to go into details, but can you tell me where I might find Jeff Radler?” “I saw him here yesterday. Just outside. He looked awful, ill even. And he didn’t seem to know me, though I called out a greeting.” “Which way was he going, do you know?” Joe shook his head, “I didn’t see, I’m sorry Cath, I did look back, but he became lost in the crowds. Sorry I can’t help you further, won’t you fill me in?” “I can’t Joe...if I could...” “I know...” He told her, “ If you could you would. Yeah where have I heard that before.” he smiled, checking his watch again, “I must go Cathy, I’ll be late. See you again sometime huh?” “You can count on it Joe.” “Bye Beth, nice to have met you. Bye Cathy.” Then he was gone, edging his way through the crowded diner back out into the sunshine. “He was talking about Devin wasn’t he?” Beth asked wide-eyed. “Yes. That’s how I came to know Devin. He got a job at the D.A.’s office under the guise of Jeff Radler, I had my suspicions about him...” “Cathy!” Startled Catherine stopped dead, and looked around to see Joe hurtling back towards them, “He’s outside, Jeff Radler, he’s outside, come hurry, you’ll miss him.” Beth and Catherine were on their feet and outside in seconds, Joe looked around frantically, he couldn’t see Jeff anywhere, “He was here I tell you, right here...say mate?” He grabbed hold of a busker with a guitar, playing outside the diner, “D’you see where that guy went with the scar on his face?” The busker held out his hand, and Joe fumbled in his pocket for some change, and when he dropped a few cents into the palm, the busker nodded, “he went down into the subway.” “You sure?” “The guy with the three long scars on his face, looks like a wild animal got to him?” Catherine, Beth and Joe nodded, wide eyed. “He went down the subway, asked me for some change for the ticket machine.” “Thanks mate.” Joe tapped the fellows shoulder, and Catherine opened her purse, and stuffed some dollar bills into the busker’s hand, “Yes thank you.” she told him. Joe checked his watch, “Gotta go Cathy, can you take it from here?” Catherine nodded, “Yes thanks Joe, that’s another I owe you.” They parted company, Catherine taking Beth’s arm as she steered her down the subway steps, and Joe off in another direction, his mind a whirl. The subway was crowded, and they didn’t know what platform Devin may have headed for, besides that trains were coming and going all the time, he could have so easily have got on one, and gone in any direction. “We’ve lost him haven’t we?” Beth asked sadly. Catherine nodded, “Yes Beth, but don’t despair, that’s two days in a row at this time of day that Joe has seen him at this spot. Tomorrow we will come and we will be waiting. we’re closing in on him Beth I know we are.” Beth smiled happily, and for the first time in months, her spirit soared. To be continued in Part Six.